


Buckle Up!

by Whuffie



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom, Old World of Darkness, World of Darkness - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Dragon Age Inquisition, Humor, Modern AU, Old WoD, WoD, dai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:01:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6323230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whuffie/pseuds/Whuffie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fun, action drabble set loosely in the Old World of Darkness where Gangrel vampire Audrie is stuck fleeing from demons with an unlikely passenger.  Some humor and pop culture references.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buckle Up!

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on an Old World of Darkness (Gothic Punk supernatural setting) AU crossed with Dragon Age Inquisition. WoD purists, this is not going to mesh with the world in a lot of ways because of the Dragon Age influence. If you're looking for pure canon WoD fiction, this probably isn't for you.
> 
> From the prompt "Buckle Up."

“Buckle up!” It was a crazy stupid thing to say, but our whole world had gone crazy stupid since the big hole tore open the sky. Some said it was the Apocalypse. Some said it was Gehenna. Some said it was time to assemble the Avengers. I’m a fan of that last one, but instead of killer robots battling it out with brightly clad superheros, we had demonic manifestations shrieking and throwing the entire world into a state of chaos.

Giant holes in the sky only happened in comic books and movies, right?

Right. Until they didn’t, and there aren’t any Avengers.

There are, however, other things that go bump in the night like me and Beardy Lumber-bear who shot a grumpy look at me from across the seat. He was mad, but I was about as welcome in his world as a bucket of fleas. Werebears and vampires, even the out-doorsy ones like me, don’t get along well. Don’t ask me, it’s just a thing which would take way too long to explain.

He wrenched the seatbelt down with ill grace and snapped it closed as I slammed my foot down on the pedal of my old station wagon. “Craaa-aap!” I growled. “I thought you said you fixed it!”

“The only thing you had in your toolbox were three screwdrivers, a dull pocket knife, a wrench and a roll of duct tape!” he bellowed at me. “How do you expect me to fix anything with that!” 

Picky picky picky. Of course vampires were all supposed to be filthy rich and wear elegant evening dresses while they sipped blood from fluted goblets. If only that were true, I’d have a real car. This vampire wore jeans which were worn out in the knees and a flannel shirt which had seen better days. The closest I’d ever gotten to a fluted glass was when someone threw one at me.

Don’t ask. 

“If the duct tape doesn’t hold, we’re toast!” I yelled, hazarding a look over my shoulder. There were way too many demons coming our way, and a pack of the corrupted werewolves orchestrating them. Black Spiral Dancers, the werewolves in question, just love demons like rats love dumpsters.

“Then we’ll take them,” Blackwall growled, and I could see a shadow of the bear in his face.

“Oh no you don’t! I promised Alpha I’d get your scruffy bear butt back safe and sound.” Hence the seatbelt. Honestly we’d probably both survive a crash through the windshield, but I technically worked for Alpha Trevelyan, aka “The Inquisitor.” It’s a pretty melodramatic name, but desperate times call for ludicrous names.

“Not if we don’t shake those demons!”

One was practically up our tailpipe and I could feel cold creeping off of it. Personally, I call them Dementors although half the people don’t get the joke. They’re some kind of despair demon that shoots out blasts of cold and drains your happiness. Tell me that doesn’t sound like it would be repelled by a patronus?

Unfortunately Hermione wasn’t any more real than Captain America.

The tires squealed, making the whole car vibrate. It was a Mom Car that usually had a bunch of kids piled into the back for a trip off somewhere, not peeling out to escape demons. It was all I could afford and I tossed my carpentry stuff into the back most of the time. A pick up wouldn’t have looked any more classy, but I could have at least tried to run over something if it was big enough. 

Note to self if I survive long enough to care: Get a big truck.

Sure, with the streets and country in a state of panic, riots, and everything burning around us, that would probably be easy. No problem. “Oh hell. Hold together,” I pleaded with it and my heart almost stopped as the engine stuttered. “Come on,” I coaxed. “Come on!” A haze of exhaust, smoke, gravel, and stench of burned rubber exploded as we took off. Something under the hood was making alarming sounds and the floorboards were vibrating. That couldn’t be good, and I fishtailed as something big and heavy landed on the roof.

Speaking as a vampire with a werebear in the seat next to me, we shouldn’t have been living a horror movie. Unless, that is, we were the ones on the roof trying to pry some screaming teenagers who needed better acting lessons out for a late night snack. “Dammit,” I snarled and Blackwall busted out the passenger window, shedding his seatbelt. “Hey!” I screeched, fangs popping out in hysteria wild enough that my Beast was threatening to get loose. I couldn’t Frenzy. That was the last thing either of us needed. “That’s going to cost me a fortune to fix!”

“Just keep driving!” 

He shoved his way out of the window and I saw coarse brown fur starting to wind its way over thickening arms. “You can’t change in here! Your big bear butt will shove me out the door!” He was a solid twelve to thirteen feet tall once he was in battle form, and with our luck he’d fall right through the floor of the car. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about being turned into a spotted pancake by his bulk, but it wasn’t my idea of a workable Plan B. 

Glass exploded next to my face temporarily blinding me as it bit into my cheek. I was so close to losing it and the only thing that kept me hanging on to sanity was the knowledge that I might grow a tail if I did. I already had leopard spots running from my temples down into the collar of my shirt. It’s weird vampire crap. “Keep yourself together,” I chanted under my breath as the car went skidding sideways, missing a lamp post by some miracle. 

I relied on instincts more than common sense and chomped down hard on something hot, furry and full of blood as it made a swipe for my face with claws. I hoped it wasn’t Blackwall, but I heard him roar from outside the car. His hind claws ripped tracks out of my already abused seats and I shook my head like a dog, taking a stinking hunk of matted hair out of the Black Spiral Dancer’s arm. Spitting, I screamed something incoherent to Blackwall and a waterfall of blood cascaded down the windshield. His legs and hips vanished out the window. Blackwall, fully transformed into a huge bear with shoulders and chest like a human, rolled over the hood with a deformed werewolf.

The two of them were locked in a furious battle of teeth and claws until Blackwall literally crushed the Black Spiral Dancer into the pavement with a bellow. I have never in my life seen anything as strong as he is. Hulk has nothing on him, and he came shambling back toward the car, shrinking until he was human. “Remind me never to piss you off,” I told him meekly as I coaxed the car forward again. We still had to put distance between us and the rest of the demons.

Windshield wipers don’t work very well on blood. Not even with that squirter thing to shoot water up on it. I can’t afford actual windshield wiper fluid, but I doubt that would have helped. It was a smeared up mess, so I stuck my head out the window to drive. Might as well since I was now missing two of them.

“Thanks,” I told him and yanked a piece of glass out of my scalp. It would heal as soon as I could pay attention to it, but I don’t like leaking blood. It’s too valuable. Oh well, we did what we had to. “I hope the road to Skyhold isn’t blocked.”

“If it is, my lady will see to it.” He was wiping his hands into a bandana, trying to get the gore off.

“Yeah, she probably will.” Alpha, our Inquisitor, is also a werewolf. Don’t ask me how she and Blackwall worked that relationship out. Honestly? I don’t want to know. I’m just glad she’s out there trying to save the world.

Who needs the Avengers?

\-------------------------  
There's a lot of references in this which don't belong to me. The Avengers, Hulk and Captain America belong to Marvel. Hermione Granger, Dementors, and patronus' are the creations of J.K. Rowling


End file.
